My Tumor - Back to the Story

Tumor. A word you don't want to ever hear.  I started this blog by stating that I had a tumor removed from my spine.

As I've written about this story, I've still not gotten to talking about my diagnosis and how the surgery came to happen

A few days following my first MRI, I received a call from the doctor to say that I had some minor deterioration in my spine at the area of L5-S1.  He didn't feel that it should be causing me so much trouble and referred me to a neurosurgeon.  We began to make calls to a friend in Phoenix who is a doctor and had done his residency in Taos.  He knew of the NM Orthopedics office and made a call to find out who would be the best doctor to see.  He referred us to Dr. Richard Castillo.  Even though he was an ortho-surgeon for the spine,  the word was that he was less likely to move directly to surgery.  The first appointment I could get was in the morning of Monday November 18.

From the time of my car accident to this appointment, I began to deteriorate rapidly.  I could no longer climb the stairs and began to sleep downstairs.  I also could no longer walk on my right leg without using a crutch.  My right calf, ankle and foot was in a continual state of contraction and the pain was increasing.  It's strange that my  leg could be so numb that I didn't  know where it is placed, yet I had intense pain when I put pressure on it.  I continued to work to keep my mind off what was happening.

On the morning of Monday 18th, my wife went to my appointment with me.  The doctors office was huge and full of every kind of patient imaginable.  I was anxious but felt like this would be the visit we needed to get the answers we needed.  As I was called back to the office, my heart began to beat.  What would we learn.  The office staff was great and made us feel really welcome.  As Dr. Castillo came in, it didn't start off so well.  He said, "so what are we doing to you today?"  I had typed out my journey and my symptoms and had provided to him in advance.  As I discussed it and he referred to it, he seemed to become a bit alarmed.

Dr. Castillo began to do some basic neurological exams.  He tested my strength, my reflexes and had me walk on my toes and my heels (at least try to do this).  He then had me roll up my pant legs and close my eyes.  He had me tell him whether the object he was brushing against my skin was sharp or dull.  My wife told me later that I got most of them wrong.

And then it came!  The doctor said, these symptoms are not because of a degenerating disc.  He said, . "Almost everyone 50 years or older has as much degeneration as you have.  This is more serious and is something in your Central Nervous System.  It could be MS, ALS or tumors". My heart sank.  He said we needed to get additional MRIs of the rest of my spine.  We asked if we should just go to the emergency room and he said that they would tell me to see a physician so we should be patient.

As the doctor left the room, I began to weep.  For months, I had felt like something was seriously wrong and now it had been spoken out loud by a medical professional.  Was I facing a life of MS or rapid degeneration as I faced ALS?  It was so overwhelming.  Yet, there was relief that I was not going crazy.  There was really something wrong and we may soon find out what it is!

Is it better to stay in the dark and not know what is wrong?  I've spent a lot of my life with my head in the sand.  I've often avoided the truth as to protect myself from pain.  I've learned in recent years that facing the truth head on can bring freedom.  I no longer want to be oblivious to what is really happening in my life.

And so - I would soon know the full truth.